Question by Darrel: Need advice ASAP about where my son should live?
My ex moved out 3 years ago and the kids have lived with me. We are processing our divorce now, and have a court date on the 24th. I live in Pasadena, my ex lives in Seal Beach.

We have real estate we own in Kansas City. Last summer she took my son out there for the summer and was to work with him on his weight. He supposedly lost some weight, but as the summer drew to an end, she asked me to allow him to stay out there for the first semester of school while he continued to lose weight. He did so poorly in 9th grade (online high school, nearly straight Fs) that we were going to have him use his grandparents address to go to Redondo Beach for 10th grade. Her argument for him to stay with her in Kansas City was that if he went to Redondo now, he would be ostracized as the fat kid. She made a compelling argument and I agreed to the semester. She then moved back to California, leaving my son with a business partner (who also wants to marry her). I’ve NEVER been happy about him being out there without family, but he was doing well in school and it was supposed to be just the one semester.

Now the semester is over, and my son made plans with me while he was with me on Christmas break that he would return. He is supposed to fly back today, but is now telling me he made his own decision to stay out there. Obviously I don’t agree with it, but his school was snowed out and they extended his semester until the 24th. I want him to finish his semester, but I’m concerned about letting him stay longer out there.

My attorney has told me that I need to get my son out here before we go to court, which is my desire, so now I’m torn. Also, had a problem with Indymac who illegally sold me home out from under me, so I’ve put a deposit on a 3 bedroom apartment closer to my work AND his mom, which is also a better school district.

Yes, I’m sure my life is a big mess, don’t need that pointed out any further. My issues is this… my son NEEDS to be here in California where his family is. However, this is the first time he has done well in school, and he likes it out there.

I’m sure my forcing him to come home will create issues, coupled with my relocating, it won’t be easy. The guy he is staying with is generally a good guy, but there are some concerns. I think his main goal in helping is because he wants to marry my ex, and I’m concerned about what will happen when he realizes she won’t.

Psychologically speaking, what is worse for my son? Forcing him out here now and hope he’ll get over it, or letting him stay out there without a parent?

Best answer:

Answer by D
You act like you’re talking about a baby, get his butt back here! He’s MORE then old enough to deal with it!

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